How to retch
by Cabba
Summary: Pop Quiz - Who is the youngest seeker in a century to swallow a snitch? How does he get it out? Answer is in this anecdote. ONE-SHOT ONLY!


_**I was reading The Tales of Beedle The Bard –' The Wizard and The Hopping Pot' and this idea struck me. It sounded great in my head. Hope you enjoy it! **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original works of 'Harry Potter' or 'The Tales of Beedle The Bard'. JKR does. **_

_Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone : Chapter - 11; Quidditch_

...'Neville, you can look!'Ron said. Neville had been sobbing into Hagrid's Jacket for the last five minutes.

Harry was speeding towards the ground when the crowd saw him clap his hand to the mouth as though he was about to be sick – he hit the ground on all fours...

and gulped.

There was silence as the crowd realised what happened. HARRY POTTER HAD JUST SWALLOWED THE SNITCH!

Pandemonium erupted in the stadium as Harry stood weakly, slightly bent, with both hands pressed to his stomach. Many people were now running towards him. The Quidditch Team, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Hagrid, Seamus, Dean, a few of the teachers and Madam Pomfrey.

"Harry! Oh no! Are you okay?"

"What sort of stupid question is that? Of course he isn't!"

"Potter, we need to get you to the Hospital Wing at once!"

"Harry! That was bloody brilliant! I'm not talking about you swallowing the snitch, of course..."

"They'll be talking about this one for forever!"

"Two years ago, Charlie robes caught fire, yet he caught the snitch!"

"This beats that by miles!"

"He's turnin green! Get 'im outta ere!"

"Hand over mouth, before you take in any more air, Mr. Potter."

Somehow, they half dragged half pulled Harry out of the pitch, towards the castle. Harry had his hand still over his mouth. His skin did look green. Upon reaching the Hospital Wing, The teachers shooed people aside and helped Harry on one of the beds with the pillow propped up. Harry slowly removed his hand and said, "I don't feel so good."

"Don't worry, Potter. Here, drink this." Madam Pomfrey pushed a steel goblet full of brown liquid which smelled like castor oil. Everyone wrinkled their noses. Harry looked flabbergasted. "I can't. I'll spit the whole thing out before it even touches my tongue."

Madam Pomfrey laid a bucket next to Harry and raised an eyebrow. "That is the reason actually. By drinking this, you'll simply expel the contents of your stomach, which, in the process, will get that snitch out."

Harry stared. He then said, "Isn't there another way without making me throw up?" Minerva McGonagall sighed.

"No, Potter. Well, actually there is. You have to be admitted in St. Mungo's, it's the wizard Hospital. (She added at the look of Harry's blank face.) They'll put you in...let's say a deep sleep, for a few days during which they can extract the snitch out without any pain or side-effects. It's a tedious procedure and not inexpensive."

Harry had a confounded look and said, "Isn't there another way to get it out without making me throw up with this stuff or St. Mungo's? Can't you magick it out?"

Professor Sprout rolled her eyes and said, "Of course we can. but it doesn't guarantee that other things along with the snitch would come out."

Harry now looked desperate. "Isn't there another way to get it out without making me throw up, or going to St. Mungo's or magicking it out?" People sighed. It just might be a long day.

Ron who had been quiet (like many others) till now, suddenly said, "I got an idea! Professor, do we have the book, 'The Toadstool Tales' in the Library?" Everyone looked confused for a second and then all pure-bloods and half –bloods said, "Oooooooh!"

McGonagall looked impressed and said, "I think so. I'm not even sure why its there." She took out a piece of paper scribbled something on it gave it to Ron who ran from the room along with three other first year boys.

Hermione and Harry looked confused. "I don't understand." the former said, slightly annoyed.

"You'll see!" Grinned one of the beaters. "When Ginny was four, Mum read one of the stories from 'The Toadstool Tales'. Ginny threw up her dinner and was scarred for life." The other twin said, shaking his head, sadly.

"Was it that horrible?"Harry asked rather nervously. Which four year old would understand a story to be so gruesome? Who would even read something like that to a child?

"Very terrifying. You have guts, Harry. You'll just puke it out along with the snitch." At that moment, four flushed boys re-entered the room with a very worn out book in the red haired boy's hands.

"Got it." Ron panted.

"Good." The teachers walked towards Madam Pomfrey's office. Many others moved towards the entrance and stood there, talking too much. Hermione seemed startled with the reaction. "What just happened?"

Ron just grumbled and muttered, "Figures they'll make me read. Hermione would you like to read at least two paragraphs to Harry?" Hermione completely oblivious to what was about to happen, took the book completely bemused as Ron went to strike up a conversation with Seamus. She opened to a random page and read the last part of one of the stories.

"_Then the little golden pot danced with delight- hoppitty hoppitty hop! – on its tiny rosy toes! Wee Willykins had cured all the dollies of their poorly tum-tums, and the little pot was so happy that it filled up with sweets for Wee Willykins and the dollies._

'_But don't forget to brush your teethy –pegs!' cried the pot._

_And Wee Willykins kissed and huggled the hoppitty pot and promised always to help the dollies and never to be an old grumpy-wumpkins again."_

Harry's skin went a beautiful green and he threw up in the bucket. When there was a clink of metal McGonagall vanished the sick and the bucket and cleaned the snitch with one wave of her wand. The snitch (which had been levitating in the air) dropped itself into Harry's right palm.

Hermione sat on another bed and put her hand against her heart.

"That book should be illegal!"

And that was how the The Toadstool Tales helped Harry Potter to retrieve the Golden Snitch from his stomach. This story would be well known for generations to come. And thus the book could not be made illegal. The Bloxam family (Mrs. Beatrix Bloxam ;1794-1910; was the author of the book) were awarded Order of Merlin, Second Class, in honour of the their ancestor.

...

_**How was it? Crazy? Random? Good? Bad?**_

_**Give me a clue, guys!**_

_**Cabba. **_


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